He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
