Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
