That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i would punch a child for taco bell
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
