very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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