i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
