did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
