I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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