eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
