how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
