$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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