who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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