tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What a dumb baby whore.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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