Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
