I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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