ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
