i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
