It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
