oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
