How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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