i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
