guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize