I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
