He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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