TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
