She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
