I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
