Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
