I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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