I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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