They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
