I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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