she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
