Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My feet surprised me
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
