hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Duck Duck Cougar?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
