TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize