we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let's get the cat blown out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize