Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
