Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
