What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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