I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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