but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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