Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
