I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
