I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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