just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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