Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
