Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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