so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think I am morally bankrupt
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize