32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
