No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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