Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
