I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
