Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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