this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
