It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize