the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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