do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
