it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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