I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
