it wasn't lemon gatorade
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
