stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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