we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
