How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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