It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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